could feel bad
if i did not
feel so good

could care for
you if it
were not you

could stop lying
if i did not
feel a sick
thrill chilling
my spine when
i look at
him every time
and i want
his hands on
mine like when
he dropped me
off the last night

im always in
your car at
the right moment
your never there
without heat
of the moment
without reason
in your jeans
your so dirty
so selfish
so sexy
so manly so
ugly so not
so empty
so deep
so shallow
go rot

could feel worse
if i cared less
if i thought
more of what
we are not
as i lay
a perfect facade
to mask what
i really mean
when i speak
as my eyes glow
but my lips angle
downward and
my face goes
red like the blood
that pumps through
me when i think
of you but i
dont let you know
ever as
i never let anyone know ever.